They’re not going to rat you out. They’re going to adjust your anesthesia dosage so you don’t WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF SURGERY.
Some anesthesiologists will refuse to put you under if you’ve smoked cannabis within the past 24 hours – and let’s be clear, this is NOT because they’re morally against it – it’s because THC and anesthetic react in unpredictable ways and waking up in the middle of surgery is slightly less of a concern than SLIPPING INTO A COMA OR DYING.
So there’s that.
Yes, this too. Should have included this. It just wasn’t on my mind when I made the original post because my mind was full of NOPE NOPE NOPE after, you guessed it, one of my patients woke up in the middle of her surgery because she didn’t tell her anesthesia team she used marijuana.
Being abused can seriously affect your ability to distinguish between “not obviously pleased” and “obviously displeased” because abusers go from Neutral to Hostile for absolutely no discernible reason, and eventually you start worrying that everyone is going to be like that and you start feeling this urge to make absolutely sure that the people you actually care about aren’t mad or upset, because to you, “there’s no evidence that they’re not angry” is the same as “there’s evidence that they are angry”
Let’s destroy the idea that any human can be truly independent in the 21st century (and that not being able to live “independently” is shameful).
Living separately from your parents, doing your own house chores, driving a car, earning enough to completely sustain yourself… none of these things make you truly independent.
Because guess who built your house? Not you. Who produced food, clothes, furniture and almost everything you own? Not you. Who provides water, electricity, heat and Internet to your house? Not you. Who made your car and taught you to drive? Not you.
And even if you did some of these things on your own, I doubt you do everything by yourself. Unless you live in the forest and feed off the land, you are not truly independent. You depend on the human society to function and THAT’S OKAY.
We depend on each other and we have always depended on each other. In ancient times humans lived in big groups and helped each other survive. Now we are even better at helping each other and that’s great! Actually it would be awesome if we could go back to living in big families or at least big friend groups.
So stop shaming disabled people for having needs that abled people don’t have. Society sees the needs of abled people as reasonable and acceptable, and the needs of disabled people as unnecessary and “special”. But it’s nonsense.
Not being able to live on your own is not bad. Needing help with house chores is not bad. Not being able to drive a car is not bad. Living on disability pays is not bad. Needing constant help and support to function is not bad. It’s not immature, pathetic or tragic – it’s a normal part of human experience.
Please respect the needs of disabled people.
Having such a hard time with this lately, because I’ve been needing so much help.
Even if you DO live off the land, you still are dependent on other human beings. You were taught, weren’t you? Someone raised you. None of us could be what we are without help from others.
That doesn’t much stop me from feeling shitty about being as non-functional as I am, the damage to me has been done and I’ll always feel crappy about being “broken”, but maybe stuff like this will help other people be less judgmental of people like me who really can’t get along on their own. And maybe people like me can stop feeling broken and worthless.
Once I worked as an intern in the state capital. One of the representatives I worked for was this middle-aged guy. And he hated the tampon and napkin machines in the women’s bathrooms. Hated them. He insisted that they weren’t necessary.
I found out why after I’d been working there, oh, about a month. My period started suddenly, as it sometimes does, and I asked to excuse myself to go to the ladies’ room. He wanted to know why. I told him.
He started ranting about how lazy women were. How we wasted time. How we were so careless and unhygenic, and that there was no call for that. He finished by telling me that I certainly was NOT going to the ladies’ room and that I was just going to sit there and work. He finished this off with a decisive nod, as if I’d just been told and there could be no possible argument.
“If I don’t go,” I said in an overly patient tone, “the blood is going to soak through my pants, stain my new skirt that I just bought, and possibly get on this chair I’m sitting in. I need something to soak up the blood. That’s why I need to go to the bathroom.”
His face turned oatmeal-gray; an expression of pure horror spread across his face. He leaned forward and whispered, “Wait, you mean that if you don’t go, you’ll just keep on bleeding? I thought that women could turn it off any time that they wanted!”
I thought, You have got to be kidding.
Several horrified whispers later, I learned that he wasn’t. He actually thought a) that women could shut down the menstrual cycle at will, b) that we essentially picked a week per month to spend more time in the bathroom, i.e. to goof off, and c) that napkins and tampons were sex toys paid for by Health and Human Services. I didn’t know the term then, but he believed that tampons were dildos. Which was why he and a good number of his friends considered them luxuries.
And that’s how, at twenty, I had to give a talk on menstruation to a middle-aged married state representative who was one of my bosses. American politics, ladies and gentlemen.
That’s.., that’s insane.
what the fuck did i just read
Everytime i come across this post its still horrifying as if im reading this for the first time.
Instead of telling disabled kids “you can do anything you want if you put your mind to it,” I think we should tell them, “the things you are capable of doing matter.”
A person can’t live on an increasingly strained hope that someday they’ll be good enough, especially if all you ever do is tell them who they are and what they do now is worthless.
trystabackingupherstuff 